last week i anointed this fine old 90 year old woman and yesterday morning she died. so i was called upon to celebrate a funeral Mass for her today. because of the complete lack of enbalming in this part of the world, these things take place quickly. so at 2:00 pm, when the outside temperature was 93 degrees, i entered the chapel in sabana cruz. it must have been 110 easily - the church was packed, the sun was beating down on the tin roof, and the breeze was non-existent. as i walked up to the front of the chapel to inspect the altar and get the books ready, i passed by the small wooden casket and was slammed with a palpable odor. it smashed me right in the face and just about knocked me out. my natural gag reflex took over and it's only the grace of God that saved the day. i sprinted out the side door and began to dry-heave while leaning on the side of the chapel. luckily i held it together. so, sweating from both the heat and the nerves of almost vomiting on the side of the chapel, i vested and marched down the main aisle, this time prepared for the "wall". God, in His goodness, preserved me from all other effects and Mass went smoothly....
well, we have an answer to the question as to the identification of that big ole bug. special thanks to dr. fallon and his comrades at the entomology department at the U of Florida:
BIG BUG INFO
that speciman i found was at the top of the size chart...
BIG BUG INFO
that speciman i found was at the top of the size chart...
only 5 days left til the end of the patronales, and we haven't even really gotten started, but people were driving around and playing super-loud music til 1 am...this morning 17 people have already entered my office and it's only 9:48 am. it's gonna be a long week. pray that i can be patient...
i am finally ready to speak of the 9 turnover, 55-16 drubbing the ducks received on sat. well, maybe i'm not.
i am finally ready to speak of the 9 turnover, 55-16 drubbing the ducks received on sat. well, maybe i'm not.
the church bell began ringing at 0430 to alert the community that the procession of the statue of st francis was going to begin - albeit 1.5 hours later. so up we were, singing songs and getting ready to move this huge statue in a 90 minute procession through the streets of banica. when we arrived at the small grotto to our lady of mercy, the drums were out in full force and the women began dancing. we then reloaded the statue onto the back of the truck and proceeded to the spot where Mass was to be celebrated. when we arrived i realized that there was a small carport type shelter which held about 50 people. so, we drove the truck to one end of it, put the altar in the bed of the pickup and i celebrated Mass from there. there were people everywhere, but i made a huge announcement at the beginning for "absolute silence" and it wasn't too noisy. because of my elevation, i was the only one standing in the sun, and some nice fellow crawled up to the roof of the truck and held an umbrella over my head...since we'd been going strong since 530 or so and it was now 8 something, i decided to give short homily: after the gospel, i waited for complete silence and said "nosotros no debemos mover el santo, el santo debe mover nosotros" - i.e. "we shouldn't move the saint, the saint should move us."
i have just one question for you all: is it possible for the people who plan large outdoor Masses to trust that the Mass can carry itself? why all the extra stuff? why the seemingly perpetual drivel, blabber, blather, drool, gabble, prate, prattle, and twaddle? doesn't the Mass suffice? can't it be a solemn celebration? can't we dance after Mass instead of during? okay, that's more than one question, but boy, another one of these all day diocesan Massathons and i might go crazy...that's enough, i've vented. time to get back to the devotional piety of the patronales here in town...i'll be back tomorrow with pictures.
before we get to the excitement of the beginning of the patronales, i have to show you what greeted me on my stairwell at 5:20 am: i'm hoping some of you can identify this beast. the little "tail" is actually a stinger. and those beady black eyes move around like a kaleidoscope...
blog extra - i also moved the weather station to a better spot. hopefully we'll have some more accurate data for you. for those that don't know, the current conditions along with historical data may be found here.
i finally re-wired the shower head. the other morning as i was showering i could smell a small electrical malady and i looked up to see a cigar-like smoke eminating from the wires - you bet, the wire-nut had melted down. that was enough for me, so i took the whole thing apart and realized that in order to fix it i would need two crimps. it was easier to find a new shower head than the crimps, so i just bought the new shower head and re-wired the whole thing properly. all's fine.
tomorrow begins the "patronales" - i.e. the patronal feast (st francis) starts 10 days early. i suspect i will have a plethora of hot photo ops for you in the next 10 days...we'll be up at 6 am for the procession of the st. francis statue.
tomorrow begins the "patronales" - i.e. the patronal feast (st francis) starts 10 days early. i suspect i will have a plethora of hot photo ops for you in the next 10 days...we'll be up at 6 am for the procession of the st. francis statue.
seismic events headline this morning's blog news: that's right folks - at about 1:00 am i awoke rattling around in my bed and thought to myself, "boy this sure feels like and earthquake, but i'm in the dominican republic, it can't be." after a good 20 seconds it stopped and i went back to sleep. this morning the staff inundated me with questions about it.
for those so inclined: the quake registered 6.5 - that's right - 6.5. the hypocenter was exactly 83.7 miles from banica. for more info check this page out.
for those so inclined: the quake registered 6.5 - that's right - 6.5. the hypocenter was exactly 83.7 miles from banica. for more info check this page out.
i departed banica on the motorcycle this morning at 8:00 wearing my mrs akers made hooded poncho, much to the amusement and confusion of the local populace. the reason i was leaving so early on a sunday morning is that we have initiated a sunday morning Mass in sabana cruz, changing the time from the previously hot and humid 4 o'clock hour. they said it couldn't be done because the people would skip out on Mass to go to the market, but when i arrived the place was already full and just got fuller and fuller. it was, far and away, the largest Mass in terms of attendance that i had celebrated in sabana cruz. and they said it couldn't be done - what do they know...
well, well, well, how about them oregon ducks? taking down the michigan wolverenes, who smashed notre dame into oblivion last week. that's right folks, i watch 2 frames per second with audio and got to see the soon-to-be top 10 ducks hold the nations best rusher to 26 measley yards. oh life is good in duckville. go pac-10...
i was over at this house the other day and saw these little goats:
i asked how old they were and the owner said, "they were born about 12 hours ago." i couldn't believe it. it was hilarious watching these two try to walk, fall down, get back up, try again, trip, stumble, smash a chin on the step, yelp, try again. it went on and on. evidently goats can give birth once a year with a litter of two to three kids. that's it for saturday morning nature hour here at the mission.
i'll be in a parish council meeting for the next 26 hours. what more needs to be said than your prayers will be useful...
i asked how old they were and the owner said, "they were born about 12 hours ago." i couldn't believe it. it was hilarious watching these two try to walk, fall down, get back up, try again, trip, stumble, smash a chin on the step, yelp, try again. it went on and on. evidently goats can give birth once a year with a litter of two to three kids. that's it for saturday morning nature hour here at the mission.
i'll be in a parish council meeting for the next 26 hours. what more needs to be said than your prayers will be useful...
blog extra: there was a little problem with the forum so we've decided to migrate to the new one earlier than planned - the new address is on the sidebar, or you can click here to go to the new site. your username and password should be the same...
last night around 9:30, with my throat totally parched, i decided to get a little gatorade and hit the sack. much to my dismay, someone had locked the kitchen door. i tried 30 keys, none of which worked. as i was fumbling around i was getting thirstier and thirstier and i would not be denied. the only option other than breaking the door in half, which i did contemplate briefly, was to take the pins out of the hinges. so there is was, 10 pm, on my knees in the dark with the spiders trying to loosen overly painted hinge pins. i finally hammered free the last pin and ripped the door off. gatorade never tasted so good...
well, it's 8:16 and i'm feeling much better. amazing what Mass can do. no half day off. records stands.
that does it: i am officially sick and feeling lousy. stupid chest cold. sour orange and black coffee appear to be ineffective at resolving the problem. i think i waited too long. oh well. hopefully some medical council will get me an antibiotic today and clear this mother up. i may take half of a sick day, which would be sad, because to my knowledge i've never taken one. we'll see if the later morning brings about some better breathing...maybe i need to double the sour in the coffee...
i've had this little head cold that turned into a chest cold/cough, and the locals cornered me today with a homeopathic remedy: are you ready for this? cold black coffee and sour orange mixed together. i just about gagged drinking it. but hey, i'm feeling much better...
what makes a missionary priest joyful, aside from the obvious spiritual joys, like the four Triumph of the Cross Masses he celebrated? watching the redskins win at 2 frames per second over yahoo video chat over a wireless intranet with a small webcam locked onto a television on the other side and hearing audio through ichat a/v all done over a satellite connection which is being powered by a battery bank and invertor.
as i sweated under this tarp preparing for a funeral Mass this truck:
decides to back in and start unloading water. i just looked at these guys as the people that had gathered for Mass had been cleared out. so there i stood, sweating my tail off, watching these guys spill water all over the place. i finally just told them to stop and let us get on with the business at hand. so i yelled told people to get organized. there must have been 80 people jammed under this blue tarp while people around the area ate, drank, played dominoes, cooked, and laughed. at least marcos, r.i.p., got a Mass said for him...
decides to back in and start unloading water. i just looked at these guys as the people that had gathered for Mass had been cleared out. so there i stood, sweating my tail off, watching these guys spill water all over the place. i finally just told them to stop and let us get on with the business at hand. so i yelled told people to get organized. there must have been 80 people jammed under this blue tarp while people around the area ate, drank, played dominoes, cooked, and laughed. at least marcos, r.i.p., got a Mass said for him...
some priests have the unusual grace of cancellation. that is, they have meetings get cancelled with great frequency. i have the unusual grace of meeting multiplication. that is, i have meetings get stacked when i didn't realize i had one in the first place. (hecklers take note, i do keep track of these things, it's not my end that has the issues.) in any event - today, as i was putting on my backpack to head out to Mass, the parish secretary walked up to me and said, "someone just radioed in, no Mass in cercadillo, they all have somewhere to go today." even my cancellations stink. "somewhere to go"? needless to say, i am struggling with how to handle the situation. one part of me says, "hey that's life." the other says, "they get Mass once a month and they had somewhere to go? they don't have anything out there but goats and beans, where could they possibly go? it's time to read them the charitable riot act." who knows what will happen next, but that was a first for me...
today i experienced another lifetime first: doing live radio in a foreign language. it was quite a remarkable experience really: this blind kid has this radio show and he asked me to come and do a 30 minute interview. after i agreed he told me that he was going to discuss a pedophilia case that happened down here. i couldn't believe it - it's inescapable. anyway - after the first round he told me he was an evangelical and he started to lay into me a little. thankfully the Holy Spirit was there and He gave me the necessary words to at least make a good showing. afterwards some people blasted him for inviting me on and not asking me how i was, what i thought of banica, how i was adjusting to life in the dr. he just shrugged. oh well, that's life in the little city...
i hate to be redundant, but i can't stand the capital - i left here at 5:20 am and returned at 5:45 pm. after buying 15,200 pesos worth of notebooks, pens, erasers, and pencils that we give to all the kids who can't afford them, we had to tie it all down for fear of miscreants swiping them from the back of the pickup while we were stopped at red lights. this was only after i had to lay into the bank people because they wouldn't accept the signature on my check, which was my signature since i am the signee on all the checks: they made me sign it again on the back after i had signed it on the front while they were viewing the signature on a computer screen and looking at the identical signature in my passport. i almost went ballistic, but held my temper in check, albeit barely. brother, it's good to be back in the frontier...
blog extra - the forum is set and ready to go - for anyone interested in discussing the blogs, you can surf over to: stan's new forum and sign up and log on and discuss to your hearts content.
a big thanks to stan for getting it all set up and working for us...
a big thanks to stan for getting it all set up and working for us...
i would like to introduce you to hurricane isabel:
her measurements are: 125 gusting to 155 and 952 millibars. she's waltzing her way west-northwestward, but might she take a turn down south. she'll be a beautiful category 4 tommorow. pray she decides to leave the dance floor...
her measurements are: 125 gusting to 155 and 952 millibars. she's waltzing her way west-northwestward, but might she take a turn down south. she'll be a beautiful category 4 tommorow. pray she decides to leave the dance floor...
today we finished up a weekend long standard first aid class for 95 people with an all too realistic simulation of a car accident which had the doctors in the hospital scrambling for iv's and tourniquets. the people from the campos now have the ability to perform emergency procedures which will hopefully save someone's life until they can be brought to the hospital.
for those intersted, we are beta testing the forum as you read this, and things are looking good for a mid-week launch...
for those intersted, we are beta testing the forum as you read this, and things are looking good for a mid-week launch...
today's highlights: Mass, 3 sets of confessions, 3 holy hours, first friday Communion calls, and yes, a castration. you read that correctly folks - castration. the male (obviously) pig had reached the point where it was breed him or set him up for the dinner table. evidently the lack of testosterone makes for a more tender pork shoulder. so out we went, serrated kitchen knife in hand. as you all well know, i live by the the rule that if you cannot participate in the production of the product you should not use the product. so, i got my hands dirty and did my part. it was quite surgical and impressive - i'd explain the whole thing, but this is a family blog. i'm happy to report that (s)he's doing fine...
by the way, the comments have been taken down - a new forum will be up and running for those who care.
by the way, the comments have been taken down - a new forum will be up and running for those who care.
tomorrow morning is so enormously exciting that i can't even think of something to blog tonight.
i got to practice standard first aid today in a big way: returning from the capital we happened upon a three-car accident. one of the cars was completely trashed and the three passengers were still in it - it took us about ten minutes to get the girls (all about 20 years old) out of the car and wash and clean them. i then organized the men hanging around to move their car out of the way - the girls, two of whom needed medical attention were then wisked off to the hospital by a small minibus that was driving by and we left. what a great country - just about every person who passed by stopped and asked to help - guess you don't actually need a law to be a good samaritan in this country...
still no lights - broke another wire cause of the 300 volts coming in.
mystery man in the picture is andy. i'm tired. been up since 3. going to bed. see you tomorrow.
mystery man in the picture is andy. i'm tired. been up since 3. going to bed. see you tomorrow.
local time: 3:47 am
event: at approximately 2:30 am a blinding chain of sparks and deafening series of loud pops and crackles a filled the air.
cause: the double line from the street to the house fell from the side of the house and the electrical cable struck a rose bush which caused it to seperate. the ensuing technographics burned the rose bush and knocked out electricity to the house. the wire dangled four feet above ground across the street.
solution: call the guys who own the cool insulated gloves to come, climb a ladder, snip the wires, and clear the wire from the street.
conclusion: run a new wire at a reasonable time.
thought: i'd prefer to be woken by something less mundane at this hour of the morning.
event: at approximately 2:30 am a blinding chain of sparks and deafening series of loud pops and crackles a filled the air.
cause: the double line from the street to the house fell from the side of the house and the electrical cable struck a rose bush which caused it to seperate. the ensuing technographics burned the rose bush and knocked out electricity to the house. the wire dangled four feet above ground across the street.
solution: call the guys who own the cool insulated gloves to come, climb a ladder, snip the wires, and clear the wire from the street.
conclusion: run a new wire at a reasonable time.
thought: i'd prefer to be woken by something less mundane at this hour of the morning.
yesterday i was sitting in my office and was informed that there was a man at the door. i got up, walked to the door and presented myself to the well dressed dominican. he introduced himself and said that he lives in las matas (about 45 minutes away) and he comes to banica once a year for a simple reason. he handed me an envelope and told me that he wanted to make a donation. that's correct, he wanted to MAKE a donation. after the paramedics revived me, i thanked him and went back into my office.
